On the Bright Side

With Thanksgiving approaching, I have noticed that people are busy sharing all that they are thankful for. It truly is nice to pause and show gratitude for what we have instead of focusing on what we do not. It is so easy to get caught in a negative trap and we are all guilty of it. Not just the big things, but the little annoyances that life loves to give us. If we spend our days focusing on the fact that our life is not what we would have hoped for, either on a given day or in its entirety, we lose the ability to see the greatness around us.

I was listening to a Cat Stevens CD today and the lyrics to Moonshadow were a perfect example of this. Yes, I did say CD. Do you remember those? My company car doesn’t have a port for me to listen to my iPod so I have resorted to buying CDs. A year ago, when I started my job and got my car, I remember complaining about this. How in the world can I drive all over God’s green earth without my iPod? The new, more positive me now says, “Really, you ungrateful person? This is a free car, free gas, safe, and you were complaining about what music you could listen to? Really?”

O.K., back to the lyrics that sparked this whole thing.

if I ever lose my hands
lose my plough, lose my land
oh, if I ever lose my hands
oh, well...
I won’t have to work no more
and if I ever lose my eyes
If my colours all run dry
yes, if I ever lose my eyes
oh well …
I won't have to cry no more.

if I ever lose my legs
I won't moan and I won't beg
oh if I ever lose my legs
oh well...
I won't have to walk no more
And if I ever lose my mouth
all my teeth, north and south
yes, if I ever lose my mouth
oh well...
I won't have to talk...

The obvious lesson here is that no matter how grim things might seem, there is always an upside. Of course Cat Stevens might have been on an acid trip when he wrote this, I don’t’ know. In all seriousness, in any bad, the joyful can find good.  Sometimes you have to get creative and really make a conscious effort, but in the end it is worth it. It is freeing and it makes you lighter. When I choose to be annoyingly optimistic when my world seems to be throwing large cow pies at me and then laughing at me to boot, I can’t help smiling. I won. The cow pie thrower did not preserver, I did. I will walk into a room with a shit-eatin’ grin and my friends and family will ask me why I look so happy. To them, I will say, “because I just ate shit and I am still here to tell you all about.”

                As I replayed track 5 over and over again, I thought about all the times in the past two years that I have complained or felt sorry for myself. There were many times that I felt that I had the right to be mad or sad or to gripe and so I did. I have been dealt a few bad hands, compared to some people. BUT, compared to the rest of the world, I am one of the luckiest. I don’t care how horrible you think your life is or how bad of a day you’re having; you can rest assured that 98% of the world has it worse. We forget that.

O.K., here is where I ask you to take a trip with me to Pollyanna Land, where the grass is the greenest in your own yard, all clouds have a silver lining, and everyone’s glasses are rose colored. Hold on, this might get positively strange.  Yes, that pun was intended.  I thought about all the things that I have complained about in the past couple of years or even this morning and I just simply looked on the bright side. That’s all.

1)            My children will not stop saying, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!” It drives me crazy.  I am grateful that I am called Mommy at all. Some people want for nothing else but that and I should never be annoyed at the sound of it.

2)            My Jeans don’t fit.  I have never known what it is like to really go hungry.

3)            Wow, that’s a deep wrinkle on my forehead.  It reminds me that I proudly take after my Dad and I have a stellar example of what a man should be like as do my daughters.

4)            Crow’s feet really?  I am lucky to have seen so many sunny days.

5)            Laugh lines. DUH!

6)            Complaints 4, 5, and 6. Botox is easily accessible. Someday soon, I can get it while I’m getting my oil changed.

7)            I can’t stand my girls fighting. I think I am going to hose them down. I am so happy that they have a sister. I know that they will have a life-long friend like I do in my own sister.

8)            My husband left me for another woman when my children were 2 and 5. I am glad that I was young enough to start again.

9)            My husband left me for another woman when my children were 2 and 5, part 2. I know that when they are with him and I am not there, they have a motherly figure to hug them should they skin their knee. That one made me throw up just a little, but now you see that it can be done.

10)          Stretch marks. I have a souvenir of the two greatest days of my life. Every day I am reminded that I gave life.

11)          I am exhausted! My girls got up in the middle of the night and wanted to sleep with me. I was forced to sleep on the edge of the bed with one foot on the ground. My children still want to be close to me. Someday they will not, but for now they do and I will embrace that.

12)          My Mother has too many opinions about my life. I am so lucky to have a mother who truly cares about me and wants me to be happy. I am not too proud to admit that she is usually right.

13)          My friends never have enough time to spend with me. I am happy that my friends have full lives and that their children have found activities that fulfill them and that they have a mother who will make sure that they are there.

14)          I never hear, “Honey, I’m Home.” I know that I will someday and when I do, it will be from someone who I actually want to be home.

15)          This CD I just spent my hard-earned money on, bites. It was a 2-disk set and with a little creativity, I have a new pair of earrings.

16)          I can’t afford to buy a house in my children’s school district on a single income. I have never slept in the rain, I do not need to lock my doors, and I have something to look forward to.

17)          I am late. Somebody cares if I am there or not. I am needed or wanted in some capacity and they cannot wait to for me to get there.

18)          My girls are at their dad’s and I miss them. I have some time to myself to catch my breath and remember what it is like to be me.

19)          It is Saturday night and I am alone. I am alone. That is nice.

20)          I am out of wine. Let’s not so over-board, something’s just suck.

21)          I have had a broken heart. I thank the ones who were not worthy of me for noticing it before I did and giving me the chance to find someone who is.

22)          I drive one million miles for my job with no interaction with co-workers. It gets lonely. I get to see amazing places in this great state, pick the radio station, be alone with my thoughts, and stop to marvel when I see something awe inspiring.

23)          My cat keeps pooping in the bath tub. She is not pooping in my bed.

24)          My children’s school is nickel and diming me to death. I don’t care how many laps you jogged. I’m broke. I must not forget that an education is not a right in very country. They are free to learn and become whomever they want. Also, their father and his new wife have agreed to pay for their college. It is the least they could do, right?

25)          I feel lost and I don’t know what direction I am supposed to be heading. Anywhere I want. Every morning I wake up, I know that I have 24 hours and how I spend them is up to me. My future is mine. My past does not define me, it teaches me. The world is my canvass just waiting to become a masterpiece. That is very cool.

Of course I don’t walk around in a Prozac comma every day. I feel, hurt, doubt, curse, wish, compare, covet, and am hugely human. I have discovered that the things that we complain about are still there whether we bitch and moan about them or not. If we spend that energy finding the bright side, it cleanses us. Try it. I dare you.

Life sometimes hands us a pile of crap. I get that. We can stand there all stinky and bitter or we can say, “Thank you, life. I appreciate the fertilizer. With it, I will grow.”