Takin' Care of Business

I haven’t written a so-called blog post for a while. There are a few reasons for this. One being, that I had several people tell me that my O Christmas Tree story made them cry and I would much prefer to make people laugh and not much has made me laugh lately. The other being that I was pre-occupied enjoying my newly rekindled relation-a-thingy with Mr. Wonderful. As it turned out, Mr. Wonderful and Mr. Houdini have a lot in common. They can both disappear into thin air, leaving their audience with their jaws on the floor and wishing that they hadn’t blinked for they missed the whole thing. I, on the other hand, just wanted my stinking money back for my ticket to the little magic show. What I got back instead was my beloved, lucky ring in the mail. I came home from a long, tiresome business trip and found a padded envelope on my stairs. In it, was my lucky ring with an all too familiar note saying that it was him, not me. Of course I already knew that, but the end result is the same. Here is where you can laugh with me or at me. I had recently sent him my copy of the book, He’s Just Not That Into Me, to share with someone he knew who was missing all the signs. I figured that I didn’t need it anymore, but just to be sure, I read it again and passed it along. I am so glad that when I opened that package it did not accompany the ring. Can you imagine the level of adding insult to injury? She can go ahead and keep it. I think I get it. I’m sure we can all find he humor in that, right? If not, then the irony.

The second reason that I haven’t written for a while, is because I thought I was going to have some really big news to share and I was waiting to write about that.  As it turns out I do not, yet. You see, I don’t make New Year’s resolutions because that is just a great way to set myself up for failure. Besides, on New Year’s Day, I am just lucky to have the wrapping paper picked up and the Barbies out of their packaging. I have no business dieting or training for a marathon. What I did instead is give myself a list of things that, come Hell or high water, I would accomplish in 2011. This would be my year of TCOB. For those you are confused, it stands for takin’ care of business. It isn’t so much a bucket list, because if I thought I was going to kick the bucket in 2011, the list would be different.

In 2011, in no particular order, I will…

1)      Buy a house.

2)      Make my quota every month.

3)      Snag a Keeper.

4)      Have well adjusted, happy children who pick up after themselves.

I don’t feel that those were too lofty of goals. After all, most people in my age bracket have already accomplished this. I am starting over so I get a mulligan.

When I, metaphorically, looked in the mirror and gave myself the “you can do it” pep talk, I thought of all the clichés. The first one that came to mind was-For Every Action There is an
Equal and Opposite Reaction. I needed to be proactive. I realize that for the most part, every situation we are in is a result of choices we have made. I also realize that if we want to be in a different situation, we need to choose to do so and make the appropriate choices. So I began looking at each thing on my list and just simply writing down what action I needed to take to get the desired result. I saved, I raised my credit score, and I got pre-approved for a mortgage, which is an incredible feat given my embarrassing income. I then made an offer on a house. Granted, it was the cheapest house for sale in town and it appears as though 10 to 12 pit bulls may have been living in it unattended for quite some time. Like me, it just needs a chance to start over. We will be good for each other. The first item on my list was about ready to be checked off and I was already picking out paint colors. I have not yet heard anything. This has gotten me down. In the early days, I was driving by the house and peering through the windows and now I am just waiting and my drive-bys are slowing to once a week. I drove by the other day and all the spring bulbs are popping up. I think it’s a sign.

Through it all, I have stayed focused on my job and making sure I was hitting my sales quota . In the fiscal year, I had hit it every month and I was excited. I then got the news that my territory was being extended to include all of Washington as well as Oregon. I now had two quotas, twice the travel, and half the time.

This also was making my goal of catching a keeper impossible. How can a person date with a schedule like that? Most disturbing, it was making my goal of happy, well adjusted children much more difficult. I’m stressed when I’m home and they miss me when I’m gone and I them. The other day, my 5 year old asked  me if I would ask my boss, if it was O.K. if I worked in her classroom or take the day off to snuggle. I told her I was sorry and that she needs to tip toe and whisper because I have a conference call. My heart aches for her and I wish things were different. But just when I am worried that I’m ruining her childhood, she then handed me a little piece of paper and whispered, “Here’s your ticket.”  I muted my phone and asked her what the ticket was for. She told me , “It’s a ticket to the crazy dance show.”  Conference call or not, that was a show that I wanted to go to. I handed her back the ticket and she put it in her pocket. While I listened to the latest and greatest innovations in Equine supplements, my sweet, neglected but resilient daughter did a silly dance for me. I asked her if I could have another ticket and she told me that the first one is free and the second one is going to cost me. Maybe she’s going to be alright after all.

Now, to accomplish the third thing on my list, I discovered that no matter how many times I look out my window there is not a prince on a white horse who’s just been a little lost for the past 35 years. As I have learned, you have to put your house on the market if you want an offer. Sticking with that analogy, I don’t mind buying a foreclosed home previously inhabited by Rabid dogs, but I am going to be a little more selective in this matter. You can paint a house and plant flowers, but men are impossible to change. What you see is what you get and they have the most hair on their head today than they ever will. Even though I previously said that I was done with internet dating, I signed back up again and I realized that there really are other fish in the sea. Maybe I will catch a keeper this time. It’s a good thing that I have my lucky ring back.

So here it is, almost three months into My Year and I have yet to cross one thing of my list. In fact, it feels like my initial progress is regressing. It feels at times that my list is headed for Hell in a hand cart. I try to remember that I have nine more months to make it happen and if I make sure that everything I do is in the best interest of the survival of the list, then it will. I think of the little toy car that you pull back and let go. It must go backwards or it will not go forward. I am in that going backwards part right now. I’m about ready to shoot forward. I can feel it.